By the Rev. Canon Tony Baron.
The companion discipline of silence is solitude. In the ancient world, silence and solitude were acknowledged as the twin disciplines of abstinence. Solitude creates a space for silence and silence will often create an opportunity for solitude. Abstinence, silence, and solitude are words rarely heard as advice from prestigious business schools, theological seminaries, or local churches. But I believe that without them, the pastor, the congregation, and/or the executive will experience diminished returns personally and professionally. Without them, the rewards from the success they achieve will end up eventually being their unfortunate punishment.
Silence helps overcome the oral manipulation and posturing, the developing unholy alliances or the ability to weaken other departments by verbal armaments. Solitude creates the necessary idleness that will awaken the mind and deepen the soul of a pastor. The smartest man I ever knew was one of my doctoral professors Dallas Willard, who served as professor of philosophy at the University of Southern California for nearly 45 years. I still have his class notes:
“What you really believe about God, yourself, and others is going to show up in how you manage your time.”
“You can’t have solitude with noise. Silence is not an absence but a presence: a positive reality. Silence is like a wind of eternity blowing in your face.”
“If we don’t know what to do, we talk. We adjust our appearance by talking.”
“Silence is tied to the proper use of words. Noise is tied to power. We make noise because we want power.”
Dallas Willard was absolutely right. Words are often used to protect our true feelings, including our fears and anxieties. It reminds me of Pascal, in his historic work Pensees #136, “I have discovered that all the unhappiness of men arises from one single fact that they cannot stay quietly in their own chamber.”
Bad leaders covet the company of others; good leaders are stimulated by the company of others; but great leaders, without neglecting the team, will often shun the company of others to honestly personally reflect and ponder the depths of what is real.
Solitude allows us to be still. The busy pastor, overwhelmed with multi-tasking and conflicting priorities, is really a lazy leader (using Eugene Peterson’s phrase) who does not have the discipline to reach new heights as a servant-leader or search in deeper depths as a person. Their ego is to be needed, to be in command and control mode, only serving to confirm the addiction to words, sounds, and power. The pastor who cannot be alone will eventually do harm to themselves and the church he or she serves.
I am not alone in the conviction that solitude is a requirement for all whom seek to serve first and then lead second. The seminal guru of all business leaders was Peter Drucker, a brilliant and thoughtful Anglican and academic who understood human behavior. He states, “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.”
So here is your call to action. Set aside time in your calendar for solitude. Start with 3-4 hours and find a quiet place where there is little contact with other people. Turn off your cell, take several deep breaths to relax, and be still. You will find how difficult it is to truly fast from words and man-made sounds. Even at solitude, one can still hear sounds. Sounds of cars driving, lawn mowers being used, planes overhead, and distant voices all will remind you how difficult it is for us to experience silence.
Just let it be. Events, people, tasks, and places will be brought to your mind. At first, they will come at a rapid pace. Later, you will notice that the thoughts seem to form a rhythm and a pattern. Just let the sounds come and go, without preconceived judgments.
IN HIM, for the sake of others, Tony+
The Rev. Tony Baron is the Canon for Clergy and Congregational Care for C4SO. Contact Tony here.
